


Shattered

by sinclairbushell



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dissociation, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Harry Potter Next Generation, M/M, Male Slash, Multiple Personalities, Self-Harm, Trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-02
Updated: 2015-11-03
Packaged: 2018-04-29 15:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5133188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinclairbushell/pseuds/sinclairbushell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Albus Potter had just completed his second year at Hogwarts, when he was taken by an old foe of his fathers. Though he was eventually rescued, will there be repercussions?<br/>Happy ending I promise<br/>Eventual 'Scorbus'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prequel

**Author's Note:**

> Just wanna say that this is Pre-beta. Also, enjoy. Feel free to ask any questions in the comments. Update times will be irregular, sorry.

  
Albus Potter had just gotten off the train when he was greeted by his overly energetic sister, Lily, who ran into him at an unnaturally fast pace. After being reacquainted with her, Albus proceeded to say his hellos to his parents, where smiles and hugs were shared. Once, they’d gone off to find Albus’s older brother, James, Albus gathered his belongings onto a trolley and made his way to the exit, waiting for his family as other parents, sons and daughters passed him.

When they’d all rejoined as a group, Albus’s Dad lead the way to their car. It was a rather beastly engine. He didn't exactly know how it worked but apparently the number of miniature horses under the hood indicated how fast the car could go. Albus never really cared for muggle technology, despite his grandfather's obsession with them. They loaded their trunks into the rear of the car and then settled into the cushioned chairs within. They were all forbidden to use magic inside of the car, since the use of magic in the proximity of muggle technology was not entirely understood and most definitely caused explosions.

‘Mum,’ Lily whined, ‘James stole my liquorice wand.’ Albus looked around and sure enough, James had Lily’s liquorice wand.

‘James, give it back to your sister.’ Mum scolded, turning around and eyeing them. Albus suspected that Dad was smiling, causing Mum to swat his arm.

‘Now dear, do you wish for us to crash?’ Dad said teasingly.

‘If hitting you gently causes us to crash and die, then I’ll raise us from the dead just to kill you again.’ Mum replied, with a straight face though she was amused. Their banter was a never-ending source, which was the reason their children were so quick and witty. Though James was the cleverest, Lily was always able to one up him, usually causing him to chase her around the house. Albus was the quietest but if he was being laughed at, he was still able to turn the joke around on them.

After Lily had reclaimed her liquorice wand via the means of blackmail in the presence of presumably oblivious parents, the chat flourished with everybody telling stories of their time while the others were absent. James spoke about beating Gryffindor in the Quidditch tournament; Lily spoke of the various pranks she had pulled on their cousin, Hugo; Albus spoke briefly about his second year at Hogwarts and his experience in Hufflepuff. That then prompted their parents to talk about how proud they were of James and Albus for being sorted into Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff respectively, because before that, both of their families had always been sorted Gryffindor. They said it was great to see some variation. Then Dad told them all that they were going to Diagon Alley tomorrow, along with Aunt Hermione, Uncle Ron, Rose and Hugo, so that they could go to Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour.

***  
The next morning Albus is woken by Lily barging into his room and launching herself onto his sleeping figure.

‘Albus! Albus! Albus!’ Lily squealed while shaking him awake. This resulted in a palm in Lily’s face, prying her away.

‘Ngggnn.’ Albus moaned. ‘Gerroff.’

Lily stuck her tongue out at him. ‘Breakfast is ready. Mum told me to tell you that we’re leaving in an hour.’

Albus, with his bedhead under the covers, pled, ‘Then why am I awake now.’ Lily rolled her eyes and left him to get ready.

Reluctantly, Albus crawled out of bed and into his ensuite bathroom, propping himself up onto the sink so that he could examine himself in the mirror. The harsh light caused him to squint. With a sigh, he regained his balance and got up onto shaky legs. He moved into his room to get dressed and go downstairs.

James was already downstairs, sitting at the table and looking perfect as always. Lily herself looked fine, but the space in front of her was chaotic, as though a tiny hurricane had come along and caused the food to land in places where it should not reside. Dad was sitting next to Mum, reading the Daily Prophet and mumbling to Mum about some escaped dark wizards.

Albus made his way to the table and was greeted by a warm cup of tea, given to him by his Mum. Thanking her, Albus drank plentifully before spreading butter on his toast.

‘So, Albus. James tells me that you’re romantically involved.’ Mum asked nonchalantly, as though she hadn't just given Albus a heart attack. Albus looked up at James who was grinning, then to Mum who seemed disinterested, even though everybody knew she was curious.

‘Umm… well… err…’ Albus didn't know what to say. Truth was that he wasn't in the least bit interested in dating anybody, but this Hufflepuff girl in his year was adamantly stalking him and telling everybody who would listen about how they were going out. Albus didn't encourage her in any way; however, she seemed to misinterpret his silence as acceptance. ‘Not really.’

James interrupted him. ‘Oh, so Matilda is just a fuck buddy then?’ Following from that question several things happened. Albus went as red as tomato. Mum hit the back of James’ head. Dad narrowed his eyes at Albus. Lily just looked confused and broke the silence.

‘What’s a fu-’ Lily began.

‘Nothing, Lil. James is just being crude.’ Mum said, with a glance at Albus. Great, now everyone thought he was boning Matilda when in fact all he was trying to do was keep away from her.

***  
In Diagon Alley, they met up with their extended family outside Uncle George’s joke shop. Albus was immediately tackled by Rose, whilst Lily tackled Hugo. James stood idly by on his phone, texting, while the older generation caught up.

‘I saw you just yesterday, Rose.’ Albus complained to Rose, who rolled her eyes. ‘Why are you so excited to see me?’

‘You’re my best friend. Am I not allowed to hug you?’ Rose replied with a pout, hanging on to him. The thing is about Rose, she dislikes most people but if she likes you, she loves you.

After all they were all reacquainted, Aunt Hermione and Mum lead the way to the ice cream parlour. They had 230 different flavours of ice cream, 15 different types of cones and 30 different sauces.

Albus opted for a Jasmine Ice cream with a rice paper cone as well as some rippleberry syrup on top. Lily, being practically insane, decided to have a pumpkin ice cream with a pumpkin cone and pumpkin sauce on top; oh, and a pumpkin flake. Their parents were much more conservative in their choices, with Aunt Hermione having spearmint.

The conversation was quite joyful until Albus’s Dad told James to get off his phone.  
‘Come on, James. Can you join the conversation, please? Get off that thing.’ Dad scolded to no avail. James rolled his eyes and carried on texting.

‘It’s no use Dad. He’s probably texting Scarlett Bones.’ Albus teased, making James look up from his phone and turn to Albus.

‘Shut up.’ James gritted his teeth while the adults were happily chatting. ‘Or I’ll tell Dad about your one night stand with Marvin Lockhart.’ Obviously, James was trying to be subtle and didn't actually mean it. Albus had been very drunk and Marvin was very persuasive. Albus went beetroot red in the face. Unfortunately, Lily overheard.

‘Albus had a one night stand with Marvin Lockhart!’ Lily cried in glee, clearly unaware of what she was really saying. James’, Albus’ and Rose’s mouths dropped open while the adult’s conversation dropped dead.

‘Is that true Albus?’ Mum asked him incredulously. Albus went even redder and was struck was fear. What if they hated him? What if they disowned him because he slept with a man? He wasn't even gay and they were going to outcast him just because James couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut.

Albus’s fear turned into anger and he stood up and rounded on James. ‘You think you're so fucking perfect! Why the hell do you have to fuck up my life when yours is already amazing!’ Albus shouted as everyone watched. Albus didn't even care anymore.

Albus stormed off as Rose and Mum called for him to come back. Mum was saying that it didn't matter while Rose just tried to reason with him, perfectly aware that Albus wasn't gay and this was just a misunderstanding.

Albus carried on walking until he found himself in Knockturn Alley, where the colours seemed to fade from the world. He slowed down as his anger diffused into fear. People around him were looking at him like a cheetah about to pounce on their prey. Albus was about to back out, back to Diagon Alley when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

‘Ah!’ Albus jumped around to face his… Aunt Hermoine. ‘Oh, thank Merlin.’ Albus breathed out. He didn't even care about the Marvin incident as long as he got out of there alive.

‘Are you alright, Albus? It can’t be easy having everybody know without your consent.’ His Aunt reassured, glancing at the strangers around him warningly, giving them the message that this boy was not on the free market.

Albus shook his head in exasperation. ‘I’m not even gay, Aunty H. I was just very drunk and he was very available.’

‘I believe you, let’s just get out of this pl-’ Aunt Hermoine started.

Suddenly, around them, 4 or 5 figures in dark cloaks apparated around them. They drew out their wands and Aunty H and Albus looked at each other with worry. Aunt Hermione withdrew her wand swiftly and spun to face one of the figures. She opened her mouth to say something when the figure she was facing cast a spell at her.

His Aunt blocked it with ease and sent a one back, which the figure blocked in turn. What Aunt Hermoine wasn't able to block, was the fist that rammed into her face, slamming her into a nearby wall, unconscious.

Albus raised his wand in horror but couldn't think of anything to cast to defend himself. He was too shocked and rooted in fear to move or attempt to run.

The figure nearest to him chuckled. ‘I was expecting greater things from the Chosen One’s son.’ With that said, the figure grabbed onto his shoulder and disapparated with him.

The next thing Albus remembered was being petrified, before being levitated into a dark building. The figures around him had discarded their cloaks and escorted him through dark windowless rooms, lit only by candlelight. Through the labyrinth of despair they went as Albus could feel only one thing; his heart pounding against the confines of his chest.

***  
For the next few hours Albus was left alone in a cell. Once the body binding spell had worn off, he curled up into a ball thinking about the probability of seeing his parents and family and friends again. One by one, he thought about the people he couldn't live without and the people he loved. Tears streaked down his face as he thought about Mum teaching him Quidditch. Dad carving pumpkins with him. James playing exploding snap with him until the early hours of the morning. Lily, his amazing little sister, always too bright and full of energy. He cried for the times they’d shared and the times they were supposed to be sharing. He thought about how he’d left things with them; shouting and calling James out. All of their shocked faces. Storming off. He didn't want that to be his last memory of them, and he didn't want that to be their last memory of him.

Perhaps he’d be rescued? He thought about that vain hope. Surely his Dad would be looking for him and he was Head Auror; he would have a manhunt out for him. Even so, how would they find him? Albus tried to think that they would, but he knew that they wouldn’t.

There was a sound. Hope? Fear? What did he feel? He didn't know.

The door to his cell swung open and in marched a woman. A woman with mad black hair that went in every direction but down. Her face was a mask of pure evil. Her eyes penetrated his soul and her laugh rung out and made Albus want to claw out his ears.

‘Hello there, sweetheart.’ She spoke, every word more mocking than the last. ‘It’s funny how things turn out. Your dirty half-blood grandmother destroyed me. And now I’m going to destroy you.’ Her piercing laugh echoed against the harsh, stone walls. She took one step forwards and Albus pressed himself against the wall behind him.

‘Don’t be scared.’ She sang manically, as she withdrew her wand. ‘This won’t hurt one bit.’ Albus knew she was lying before she cast the next spell.

‘Crucio!’

***  
Albus settled into a rhythm. He woke up every subjective morning, hoping for death. He would claw at the back of his hands, drawing blood and then he would drink it futilely. Then they would allow him a tray of muck. He wolfed it down, now more animal than human. At first, he’d picked out the pieces of hair from the food, but now he reasoned that he could use the extra substance. His tormentor would come down every day and torment him, before torturing him. He found himself begging for death at her feet but she just kicked him away.

After that, he would reside in the darkest corner of the room until the penetrator would arrive. To begin with, Albus resisted the sex. Now, however, he crawled towards the man who hit him and let his primal instincts overcome his fear. Even though there was pain and blood and bruises, Albus became addicted to it. He loved the way he made his master moan and found that he had a place in the world when his master congratulated him.

The rest of the day was silence. It was torture in itself, being confined to his room with his thoughts for hours upon end. He muttered to himself while he scratched the back of his hands and when his nails became long enough, he began to dig his nails into any bare skin. Where there weren't bruises, there was dry blood. At least this way he could feel… something.

One day, when the lady came down to punish him, she tortured him as usual and then she stopped. But instead of leaving, as usual, she tortured him more and more until he broke. His mind broke off like a shattered mirror. And that was the last memory he had before he was engulfed by the peaceful darkness of his mind.

***  
Harry Potter’s eyes were bloodshot. They had no leads, no traces, no inklings of where his son was. It had been two weeks now. Two weeks and 16 hours.

Lily wept for her brother, in her mother’s arms. James spent the days in the attic and the nights in his room. Ginny, oh Ginny. Ginny held her daughter as she consoled her with empty words and promises. At night, Ginny took out a map of the country and apparated to random locations. Harry knew her attempts were useless, but whenever he brought it up, she shouted at him, asking him what he was doing for their son.

The truth was, Harry had lost all hope. At first, he’d been filled with anger. Now he was filled to the brim with sorrow and soaked to the bone with regret.

Harry was in the study, studying the Map of the United Kingdom. He looked for new places they hadn't looked. He’d been at the Ministry until the other Aurors told him to go home. He was no use there, they'd said. He should grieve, they said.

Hermoine apparated into the room and looked around until she found Harry.

‘Harry! The ministry found something!’ Her sore voice cried out to him and it clung to his heart. Could this be true?

‘Wh-what?’ Harry turned to face his friend, who’d been unsuccessful to defend his son. He didn't blame her; he blamed himself.

‘Albus had a magical outburst so they were able to trace his location.’ Hermoine’s eyes were full of hope, and it spread like fiendfyre.

‘Where?!’ Harry was frantic now, he got up and approached his friend.

‘Isle of Sperus.’ Hermione cried out, she leapt on her friend and hugged him tightly. ‘They’re sending a team of Aurors now.’

Harry’s face visible darkened with a realisation. Albus had had a magical outburst. He never had them. Only some magic-folk were prone them, and even then it was rare at Albus’s age. He must have had something horrible happen to him. Excruiciating.

Hermoine read him like a book. ‘Come now, Harry. They’re going to find him. All we can do is wait.’

So they did. They waited until Ginny joined them. Ginny waited with them until Lily came down in a fit of tears. Lily waited with them until James came down and latched onto his father. They all waited.

***  
Albus’s body had been found by the Aurors that night. He wasn't dead but he was barely alive. He struggled against them in the rags that had formerly been his clothes. They carried him then apparated to St Mungo's, where he passed out. The Aurors had captured 6 death eaters and killed 3. Their leader was nowhere to be found.

At St Mungo's, the healers worked around his body, healing the bruising and bleeding and curing the infections. They were able to stop the internal bleeding and make the pain stop. He still had scars, though. And they couldn’t get rid of them. Albus was sanctioned to the curses wing, where he would undergo treatment for the Cruciatus Curse, because its magical signature had been found all around him.

After that, the Potters were allowed to enter.

Harry and Ginny held hands as they looked down at their son. Clumps of hair were missing from his forehead and he had a scar leading from his left eyebrow to his cheek. But he was alive. Harry sat by his son and held his bandaged hand. Lily held the other hand, but she was fast asleep now. Ginny sat at the end of the bed, holding James safe.

***  
Albus woke the next morning. He felt uncomfortable because this clearly wasn't his bed. People were holding his hands, he could feel them. Slowly, opening his eyes, he made out the bright lights and winced. Where was he?

He looked to his right and saw his Dad, looking tired and worn even though he was asleep. Taking in his surroundings he realised he was in hospital? Albus tried to remember how he got there but all he could remember was Diagon Alley, then storming off and then… oh.

He remembered Hermoine being knocked out. He must have been knocked out too and then his Dad had rescued him. But why was he hospitalised? Maybe the dark figures had beaten him up badly.

He shuffled and shifted his weight lower and… holy fuck what was that pain? Why was his arse so sore? Albus winced, but slowly managed to sit up and take in the sight of his family sitting around him. Damn, he must have been beaten up really badly.

He didn't really want to wake his parents up, but he did want answers. So, gently he shook his Dad’s shoulder until his eyelids opened. Dad looked around, rubbing his eyes until he froze and observed Albus.

‘Albus?’ Dad asked, worry on his face. What was going on.

‘Err… yeah?’ Albus answered. Dad got up slowly and pulled on a string by his bed, probably calling the nurses.

‘Wha- How do you feel?’

‘Well I’m pretty sore but I feel fine.’ Albus answered nonchalantly. ‘When can we leave?’

‘Leave?’ Dad repeated in shock. ‘Son… how are you feeling so good? I’m not complaining but… what you went through…’ Dad stopped and moved to wake up Mum. Went through?

‘Albie? Albie!’ Lily cried out, noticing the conscious figure on the bed. ‘I missed you so much.’ She said and then started weeping, clinging on to Albus’s hand.

Ok, clearly I’m missing something. This was supported by his family all stating their absolute pleasure that he was awake, proceeded by a lot of weeping and apologies.

This was interrupted by several nurses running into the room.

‘Merlin, he’s awake!’ was followed by various utterances which demonstrated their surprise.

The head nurse came towards him and kindly asked his family if they could leave. Lily refused to leave as she started tearing up again, but Dad carried her reluctantly.

Once they’d gone, the nurse in charge began to question him

‘First of all, how do you feel?’ She asked.

‘I’m fine I think. A little sore, especially around my… err… butt.’ Albus replied, a little embarrassed to admit his arse was aching. The nurse just nodded, taking notes. The other nurses were whispering.

The nurse in charge ordered them to get a doctor so and so, as well as consult doctor such and such about this and that. Then she faced him, again.

‘What exactly can you remember about the last two weeks?’ She asked carefully, unsure how to phrase the question. This wasn't her area of expertise but they really needed to know.

‘Ugh, well yesterday, no two days ago, I got back from Hogwarts. And, err, yesterday I was in Diagon Alley with my family. That’s when these people in cloaks attacked us. That’s me and my aunt Hermoine. And then I blacked out, so they must have beaten me up quite badly since I'm in here. Before that, I was in Hogwarts.’ Albus replied.

The nurses face paled visibly. She withdrew her wand and pointed it at Albus.

‘I’m going to shine a light in your eyes, okay? Please just look straight ahead.’ Albus nodded. ‘Lumos Funinculus.’ A bright light erupted from her wand and made Albus squint a little, but he adjusted and looked forward as instructed as the nurse moved her wand around.

After the nurse was done, she took some notes, which she passed to another nurse, who ran off out of the room. The nurse returned with Albus’s Dad, before running off again.

‘Dad, what’s going on? What happened yesterday?’Albus asked. He was getting a little irritated about being left in the dark.

Dad sighed and then took a seat.

‘Son, the attack at Diagon Alley happened two weeks ago.’ Dad paused to let that sink in. What? Why can’t I remember anything? ‘You were taken by some dark wizards and witched. I looked for you son… I promise I tried everything. Your mother and I were searching for you but we couldn't find you. Not until yesterday…’ Dad was rambling now. Albus paled. He’d been kidnapped. But he didn't remember anything. Maybe his kidnappers obliviated his memories before he was found. Yeah, that made sense.

Albus let his Dad ramble on until he was done. Albus really had nothing to say. How are you supposed to react to being kidnapped? For the rest of the day, baffled doctors came in to question him. He was informed that he’d been under the influence of the Cruciatus curse. That just made him more silent. Were you still a victim if you didn't remember it?

The doctors let him go that evening, as they couldn't justify keeping him there. Mum was given the medicines he would need, as well as a balm that should be put on the back of his hands. He was also required to see a psychiatrist every week.

Albus let all of this happen but he kept telling everybody that he was fine. He told his parents that he didn't remember it so it didn't really affect him.

For the first few nights, he let Lily share his bed. She was still recovering from his disappearance. To be honest, it seemed like the only person who wasn't psychologically affected by this, was Albus himself. All of his extended family came by to see for themselves how Albus was doing as if they didn't believe he was fine until he told them.

He was told that nobody had undergone that amount of Cruciatus cursing and was still sane. He argued that he didn't remember it, so it didn't matter. People ignored him, coddling him. It was only two weeks after the being rescued that his life regained some semblance of normality.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been in the Daily Prophet, so when Albus boarded Platform 9 3/4 for his third year, everybody at least glanced at him. There were rumours flying around about the nature of his disappearance. They ranged from being adopted into a dark wizard’s cult, to running away because his parents were abusive.

Dad put his hand on Albus’s shoulder assuringly. ‘Don’t you worry, son. The rumours will die down eventually. I’m more concerned about Lily, really.’ Dad said. Albus remained quiet but smiled up at his father.

Albus moved to hug him and whispered in his ear, ‘I’ll make sure she doesn’t get into too much trouble.’

Dad chuckled. ‘I’m afraid that might be a lost cause.’

After saying their goodbyes, Albus, Lily and James got onto the train where they shared a carriage with Rose, Hugo and Louis Weasley. They all chatted mindlessly about various topics until the trolley came around.

‘Anything from the trolley, dears?’ The nameless trolley lady asked. This triggered an uproar of famished Weasleys all pushing and shoving to get to the trolley. In the end, Albus only bought 7 packs of liquorice wands.

Albus watched the trolley lady leave, then a boy walk up to her and ask for a pack of strawberry snake venom drops. The boy in question turned to Albus and winked. Oh god… it was Marvin Lockhart. Albus looked away but was filled with memories of the night that shouldn't have happened.

>>>

As if a switch had been triggered, Albus was no longer Albus. He was Trixie. Trixie was a dim woman who liked to show off her powers of seduction. She wasn't afraid to show what she wanted and she wanted it as soon as she saw it. What she wanted right now… Marvin Lockhart inside of her.

To the others, Albus got up and left the carriage without a word. But Albus was Trixie and Trixie was prowling. She caught up to Marvin and tapped his shoulder. Marvin turned around, a little shocked to see him, but pleased nonetheless.

‘Albus?’ He asked, eyeing the boy. Damn, when he bit his lip he looked delicious.

Trixie didn't bother correcting him. It would only add complications. She didn't want complications. She wanted Marvin to fill her up.

Dragging Marvin along by the hand, they found the lavatories. Trixie pushed him in first, before following. She didn't mute her pleasure when Marvin was inside her. She wanted everybody to know who she’d claimed.

>>>

Albus became conscious in the corridor of the train. What? Albus blinked. He’d just been sitting down next to Rose… how odd. Making his way back, Albus noticed two things. 1, his rear end was sore. 2, people were looking at him strangely. Albus decided to quickly get back and pretend nothing had happened.

When Albus arrived back and sat next to Rose, they all turned to him.

‘Where did you go? One second you were there and the next you were gone.’

‘Oh, I just needed to get some air.’ Albus lied. Or was it a lie? He couldn't remember… was he going insane? Albus was stricken with fear… was this an after effect of the time he’d gone missing? Would he be randomly losing chunks of his memory?

No… surely the healers at St Mungo's would have realised.

Albus came to the conclusion that he would ignore it and consider it a fluke. If it happened again… then he’d talk to someone.

***

At the Sorting Hat ceremony, Lily was sorted into Slytherin. Albus wasn’t that surprised because, well, she was Lily. She was about as mischievous as they came. From across the hall James didn't look pleased at all. No surprise there, he had a weird belief that all Slytherins were evil.

It was odd to think that the three children of the famous Gryffindor, Harry Potter, were in Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. It was as though the Sorting Hat saw fit to remind everyone that one house isn't better than any other.

Rose clapped really hard when Hugo was sorted into Gryffindor. So hard, in fact, that people around her began to stare.

After their dinner, they all made their way to their houses. Albus made his way straight into the dormitories to unpack. He’d really had an exhausting day and was looking forward to sleep claiming him. His roommates filed in while he was unpacking; Albus liked them well enough but they were a little shallow and rather dim. On his left was Duke Kingston, a plump boy. On his right, Phil Kayson who was actually amazing at his spellwork, but lacked the ability to write essays well.

They were currently gossiping about somebody who had been apparently overheard having sex on the train. Albus thought that was all a bit trashy.

Albus took a long shower before going to bed, where he was greeted by a dreamless slumber.

***

The next day, Albus woke up early, which wasn't that unlike him. He got dressed then headed down to the Great Hall, but realised that no one would be there for another hour, so he redirected himself and went outside. Breathing in the September air, Albus walked out of the main entrance, taking a route to the clock courtyard. Once he was there he stared at the swinging pendulum, from within the Clocktower.

The swift movement from one side to the other seemed surreal, because the pendulum appeared to be so heavy and large.

Albus retrieved his notebook from his robes, and sat down. He began to sketch the freely moving pendulum, as well as the encumbered cogs and the unmoving numbers.

***

As there was no special ceremony in the Great Hall, the houses were allowed to intermingle during breakfast. As a result, the Weasley/Potter family all sat together on the Gryffindor table.

Albus sat between Rose and James’ best friend, Adrian Spinnet. Facing Albus was a beaming Lily, who was far too energetic for the morning. Lily was babbling with one of her new found friends, Bree Vector who seemed to resent Lily’s early morning attitude but was nodding along, nonetheless.

Rose had just been talking about when they should start revising for their end of year exams (Lessons haven't even started, for Merlin’s sake), when an arrogant voice sounded from behind them.

‘Hey, Al. Up for another round?’ All eyes turned to face Marvin, who was wearing a conceited grin on his face. Albus frowned.

‘Round of what?’ Albus asked. He hadn't spoken to Marvin since last year, so Albus found his casual appearance a little disconcerting.

‘Oh, Al. Don’t pretend in front of your family that yesterday didn’t happen.’ All eyes turned to Albus in alarm. ‘You were even better than I remembered.’ Marvin said with a wink.

Albus sputtered. ‘Are you-’ Was he? Was he suggesting that they’d got it on? ‘Are you insane!?’ Albus asked, now a little angry. How dare he come over to their table in front of all his family and lie, making everybody think that they’d had sex. ‘I know that we spent one drunken night together but that does not give you the fucking right to come and suggest to my family, no less, that we had… it!’ Albus fumed. The Weasleys all looked either bemused or amused.

‘Al… what the hell, dude. You can’t pretend that didn't happen. Merlin, you’re such a dick!’ Marvin stormed off in a huff. Albus had to give it to him, his acting skills were on point.

Albus turned to rant at his family; ‘What the hell was he doing? How dare he. And now he’s pretending I’m the dick. Fuck him. Fuck. Him.’ All the Weasleys remained silent.

It was Rose who spoke up. ‘You know if you did do the deed with him, we wouldn’t judge you.’ Rose said quietly. Wait… did she believe Marvin.

‘Rose, you don't believe him, do you? The man’s a total nut job, not to mention he apparently has this crazy obsession with me.’ Albus asked cynically.

‘No! It’s just that… he did seem pretty upset…’

‘Great. You think I slept with him.’ Albus was pissed now. Not only did Marvin confront him in front of his family, but he also managed to convince them that Albus was sleeping with him. ‘Rose, I’m not even gay.’

‘Okay, I believe you. It just seems a little suspicious is all. I mean, why would he do that? Why would he lie?’

‘That’s exactly what I'm trying to figure out.’ Albus turned to the rest of his family. ‘You don’t believe him, do you?’ They all shook their heads apart from James, who spoke up.

‘I wouldn’t believe him, but I find it hard to believe that you gave yourself that hickey.’ James smirked.

‘Hah. Hah. Very funny.’ Albus replied sarcastically, while Rose inspected his neck.

‘No, Albus. You actually have a hickey.’ Rose said, very confused.

‘What?!’ Albus cried, causing several heads to turn. Obviously, Albus couldn't see it, but that didn't stop him trying and looking like a Grindylow high on pumpkin juice, in the process.

‘God Albus. You really are a dick.’ Rose shouted. ‘All you had to do was tell us and we wouldn't have judged you. But you lied to us and I imagine you made Marvin feel like shit.’ Rose stood up. ‘Why don’t you have some fucking self-respect and go apologise.’

Albus looked dumbstruck. He didn’t know how that hickey got there, but he knew Marvin didn't give it to him. ‘But… I didn’t…’ Albus’s voice trailed off at Rose’s cold glare. Then she marched out in a very pissed off mood.

The rest of the Weasleys didn’t have the same reaction, because they pitied Albus, but they were still a little pissed. Surprisingly, James was the one to reassure him.

‘Look Al. I understand if you didn't want to tell us you were gay. But you didn’t have to be so horrible to Marvin.’

Albus looked around at his family and friends. What had started as a good day had gotten worse and worse. His family thought he was gay, he had no way to disprove it, he somehow had a hickey on his neck and Rose was pissed off at him. Albus couldn't even summon the energy to be mad at Marvin, anymore; he was too sad.

Albus slumped in his chair and ate in silence though he wasn't at all hungry. There was no point trying to prove Marvin was lying… not with that mysterious hickey. Soon, as they others regained a semblance of normal conversation that had been abandoned upon Marvin’s arrival, Albus left in silence.

***

By the time Albus reached Charms, the first lesson of the day, everybody was mumbling and gossiping about him. Apparently, Marvin couldn't keep his lying pie-hole shut and now people thought they were sleeping together. On his way to the classroom, Albus must have heard several variations of the rumour, varying from rape to incest to marriage. Albus decided to ignore all the rumours lest he make the situation worse.

Truthfully, Albus felt a little out of his depth because he had no idea what to do. He suspected that while Marvin was speaking, he had somehow managed to apply a hickey-creating jinx on Albus, to give his story more credibility. It must have been a complicated spell, however, because he wasn't able to cast a simple finite incantatum on it. Albus was planning on looking in the library for a spell that might have created the hickey, so that he could prove to Rose and the rest of his family that he wasn't gay.

Albus didn't really care that people thought he was sleeping with Marvin, but he cared that people thought he was gay. He wasn't homophobic, but being labelled as homosexual when you're heterosexual was equally as bad as a homosexual person being disregarded as straight. Albus had a right to identify as a certain sexual orientation and he was determined to exercise this right. Besides, how was he supposed to get a girlfriend if everyone thought he batted for the other team.

He was slightly late to charms class, and since the lesson was Hufflepuff/Slytherin, Albus was forced to sit next to none other than Marvin Lockhart. Even though this seating arrangement was compiled unwillingly, rumours were bound to spread like fiendfyre around the school about how they’d fought the teacher to be able to sit next to one another, as they wouldn't let their love be tamed. The thought made Albus shiver.

Albus didn't look to see Lockhart’s reaction to his arrival. He just got his books out and concentrated on the class. He could feel Lockhart’s gaze on him but Albus wasn’t going to let Lockhart stop him from acing this class. Albus loved Charms and he was amazing at it.

So Albus concentrated on the magical theory behind the Herbivicus Charm, making notes that would later be used for essays, no doubt. He noted that depending on the species of plant, the growth rate changed, as well as other facts that Albus found easy to understand while others struggled.

When they were done with the theoretical part of the lesson, the were assigned to pairs. This meant that Albus would have to talk to Lockhart, but Albus didn't fret since he decided to make this as professional as possible. He wasn't going to let Lockhart mess up his academic life as well as his social life.

They were given several species of flower that they were told to make bloom. Lockhart attempted first, trying to make a rosebud blossom.

‘Herbivicus’ He cast. The flower didn't respond at all. In fact, it may have even decreased in size a little. Albus allowed himself to feel a little joy at Lockhart’s failure.

Lockhart noticed his smirk and snarkily said, ‘You do it then.’

Albus walked up to the flower nonchalantly and cast his spell. Immediately, all of the flower’s they’d been given bloomed ceremoniously, in a burst of colour. Albus grinned at Lockhart’s dumbfounded expression.

‘Excellent Mr Potter, ten points to Hufflepuff.’ Professor Susan Bones rewarded, gaining smiles from his fellow Hufflepuff’s, including Phil and Duke. It looked like this day wasn't too bad.

‘So…’ Lockhart started. Oops, spoke too soon. ‘I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn't have outed you in front of your family.’ Lockhart admitted.

Albus was profoundly irritated that even without an audience, Lockhart would keep up this little act. ‘You didn't out me. I was never in the closet, because believe it or not, I’m not gay.’ Albus said monotony.

‘But you're bi, then.’ Lockhart stated.

‘No, I’m straight.’ Albus said through gritted teeth. It was as if Lockhart was attempting to convince Albus himself, that Albus was gay.

‘But… yesterday…?’ Lockhart asked, pretending to be confused.

‘Oh, just fuck off.’ Albus had to resist the urge to shout since he didn't want to lose the house points he’d just earned. ‘Stop pretending, Lockhart. You may fool everyone else, but they’ll realise eventually what a lying piece of scum you are.’

Lockhart now looked angry. The last thing Albus remembered was Lockhart’s hand coming towards him.

>>>

Albus was once again, no longer Albus. Nor was he Trixie. He was Patronus. Patronus had one objective: Protect Albus. Right now there was only one threat and he was standing in front of Patronus with his hand on his shoulder.

Immediately, Patronus shoved against Lockhart and pushed him back, before whipping out his wand to face him. Patronus wondered what the best way to deal with this threat was. He settled on a stunning spell, since his opponent wasn’t all that threatening. Pointing his wand at Lockhart, whose eyes were widening, Patronus casted his spell wordlessly.

The result was Lockhart flying through the air and crashing into the far wall, before slumping into a limp body on the ground.

Patronus looked to see if anybody was going to challenge him, but he wasn't worried; Patronus would be able to take any of them on in a duel if they dared. Patronus did look up to see the authority figure (Professor Bones, was it?) marching towards him determinedly. Patronus kept his wand out lest she pose a threat, but restrained from attacking her.

‘What on earth do you think you’re doing, Mr Potter?!’ She screeched at him. Patronus frowned at the name before he recalled that people thought he was Albus.

Patronus shrugged. He didn’t need to explain why he’d defended Albus. Anyway, his work here was done, so Patronus decided to retreat back into the subconscious and leave Albus to clean up this mess.

>>>

Albus awoke to see an angry Charms teacher staring at him with the other students gawking at him. He blinked. Still there.

‘Err… what?’ Albus asked, expectantly.

‘I asked you why, in the name of Merlin, you projected Mr Lockhart across the room and into the wall?’ Professor Bones said angrily, gesturing to what must have been Lockhart lying on the ground.

‘I…’ Albus looked down at the wand in his hands, that hadn't been there before. Is it true? Had he done this? Everyone in the room clearly saw him do it, so he must have. But why did he do it? And more importantly, why didn't he remember. Wait… this was another memory gap, like the one on the train.

Oh.

He needed help.

‘I… please can you send me to the Headmistress’s office?’ Albus asked, quietly. He didn't want people to overhear his unusual request.

‘Oh my boy, I’ll do more than that. Never in all my years has a student stunned another student in my classroom. 30 points shall be taken from Hufflepuff, and you have detention.’ She directed her attention to Lockhart, who was still a clump on the ground. ‘Mr Malfoy. If you could escort Mr Lockhart to the Hospital Wing while I take Mr Potter to Professor Edgecombe. Use magic if you must. Class dismissed!’ Professor Bones motioned to Albus. ‘You, with me.’

***

Professor Edgecombe was the Hogwarts Headmistress and though she was strict, she was incredibly fair and incredibly intelligent.

Albus knocked on her office door, thinking intensely about what he was going to say. Obviously, the truth. But how would he phrase it. Professor Bones had left him at the stairs, telling him that there would be a letter home to his parents. Albus wasn't sure how his parents would take it, especially Mum, but what he was about to do would probably change quite a few things.

‘Enter.’ Professor Edgecombe said as the door swung open. She was sat at her desk with a quill in hand and a queue of papers levitating, waiting to be signed, before floating over to a table where they were charmed to be folded and put in envelopes.

‘Mr Potter, take a seat.’ She told him, before transfiguring a lamp into a chair for him. Albus strode to his seat, ducking under the queue of floating papers before sitting down. ‘A little bird told me that you stunned another student.’ She said in all seriousness.

‘Well, yeah.’ Albus didn’t deny it. Enough evidence said that he did.

‘Wordless too, so I hear.’ She sounded impressed.

‘Really?’ Albus asked. He’d only been able to do really simple spells wordlessly and those were charms. Albus only then realised that he’d questioned whether he’d done something that everybody thought he remembered.

Professor Edgecombe creased her brow. ‘Really? You don't recall?’ She asked. Albus decided to take a deep breath and launch into his explanation of events. This included his time kidnapped, his influence under the cruciatus curse, his memory loss and the two recent memory gaps. After he was done, he added;

‘I hope you realise that I’m not just saying this to get out of my punishment. I’m not.’ Albus hoped that she believed him but it seemed everyone around him lately seemed to see the truth very subjectively.

She waved him off. ‘Of course I believe you, Mr Potter. I was notified of your incident in the summer and even if I hadn't been, I do read the Prophet.’ Albus belatedly remembered the Prophet announcing that Albus had been kidnapped then rescued, though they weren't aware of the main details. They wrote that he was only missing for a few days; his Dad and the ministry were able to hush down some of the more serious and personal details.

‘Now, if this is the case, I’ll have to organise a meeting with your parents and your psychiatrist. Until then, you won’t be given a detention and I’ll clear things up with Professor Bones. I’m afraid, however, that due to your unpredictable and possibly violent nature during these memory lapses, I’ll have to ask you to remain in the Hospital wing until your parents arrive. I imagine that will be tomorrow. I’ll let Madame Gorsemoor know and meals will be provided.’ A pause. ‘I’ll allow your family to visit you.’

Albus digested this information. He knew that the Headmistress was being perfectly reasonable, however subconsciously Albus felt it unfair to be isolated when he didn’t even know what was wrong with him.

***

Having settled onto his bed, with the medical screen giving him privacy from the rest of the ward, Albus looked out of the window longingly. He loved the outdoors; he always had.

Albus could hear Marvin shuffling in his bed nearby; both of them aware of the other but unwilling to talk. Albus did feel bad for him. Marvin had simply been irritating at that time and didn't deserve to be thrown across the room and into a hard, stone wall. Though, considering Marvin’s idiocy at pushing him out of a closet he wasn't even in, Albus’s anger had diffused due to the incident.

Rose was his first visitor. She strutted in and demanded an explanation, though Albus knew she was worried for him, despite still being annoyed. Albus explained about his memory gaps and what he’d apparently done to Lockhart.

This prompted Rose to hug him on the bed, letting him know that she was there if he wanted to talk about it. This eerily reminded Albus of after he’d been hospitalised, where everyone was reassuring him about something he didn't even remember.

Rose then went on to add, after a long silence. ‘You say you had a memory gap on the train? Where you left us in the carriage?’ Albus nodded. ‘What if, and don't get defensive, what if you and Marvin hooked up then. But you didn't remember it.’ Albus considered it and his mouth dropped.

‘Oh… That would make sense. I mean… it would explain the hickey. And it would explain why-’ Albus blushed, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. ‘why my- umm- butt hurt.’ Albus looked away in silence, as Rose laughed.

Albus didn't know how to feel. On the one hand, holy hippogriff, he’d had sex… with a man… and he didn’t remember it. On the other hand, Albus felt guilty about how he’d treated Marvin, especially considering the stunning incident.

‘I think I’ll apologise to Marvin.’ Albus broke the quiet. Rose nodded and said that she ought to go anyway, before leaving Albus in an eerie silence. Albus stood up and let his legs take him over to Marvin’s bed, facing the ground until he got there. Albus had struck a silencing charm around his bed, so Marvin hadn't heard Rose and him.

‘Hey, Marvin. You alright?’ Albus said awkwardly. No answer. Albus looked up to see Marvin was facing the opposite direction, lying on his bed. ‘Marvin?’

‘Piss off.’ a quiet voice said from Marvin’s figure. Albus supposed he should have expected that. If the roles had been reversed, he would have been a lot, lot angrier.

‘I just wanted to apologise. There’s… something wrong with me. I’m not really sure what.’ Albus had no idea why he was telling Marvin this; probably a mixture of guilt and longing to talk to someone about it more. ‘I-’ Albus stopped. He didn’t know what to say and presumed he was just annoying Marvin now, so he went back to his bed.

Albus had been given a large pile of homework from various professors after the Headmistress had told them that Albus might be absent for a while. So Albus started on his DADA homework.

***

By the next day, Albus had finished all of his homework and schoolwork for the entire week. It was impressive what a large amount of time with nothing else to do, could do.

He was woken in the morning by Madame Gorsemoor, who kindly told him that he was expected in the Headmistress’s office in an hour, and provided him with a tray of ever refilling breakfast.

Three slices of toast and two sausages later, Albus was on his way to the Headmistress. Albus was nervous to see his parents because he knew they would worry far too much about the current issue. Dad would probably internalise all of his worries but Mum would be concerned overtly.

Albus wasn't wrong; upon entering the spacious office, he was immediately embraced by his Mother, who must have to take the floo network along with his Dad who was there too, although with less proximity.

‘Albus, are you okay?’ Mum asked. ‘Nothing happened since last night, right? No more memory gaps?’ Okay, she was starting to get paranoid.

‘Ginny, leave the poor boy. He’s fine.’ Dad said amused, though Albus could also see that he was worried.

After a brief farewell from the Headmistress and they’d flooed to St Mungo's. Albus didn’t like being back here, but his psychiatrist worked here in the week. They took the lift (elevator) to the Mental Health wing, and seeing this, Albus got the vague impression that he was crazy. It was odd how one day you could be fine and the next you could be going to a psychiatrist for diagnosis.

Getting off the lift, they walked down a brightly lit corridor and reached a door with silver name plaque on it. Doctor Keating. They knocked on the door and entered when they heard a voice calling to come in.

Doctor Keating was a blonde woman, with medium straight hair flowing to her mid arm. Her casual attire was neither materialistic nor tom boy, and her gentle smile said one thousand words.

‘Ah, the Potters! Good to see you, Harry.’ She spoke as if they were old friends, so Albus gave his Dad a questioning look.

‘Sandra and I go back to just after the war, Albus. She helped me with some personal issues and I can assure you that Sandra will always keep your secrets from the public, and us too if you like. She’s also one of the best in her profession.’ Dad said smoothly. Albus was glad that Dad said he could keep secrets from them. It was reassuring. As if he could tell Dr Keating anything without any strings attached, like some sort of psychopathological diary.

‘Hello Albus. Call me Sandra. Please take a seat.’ She said to all of them. The office wasn’t like Albus had expected. There was no red long chaise longue where he would be hypnotised with a pocket watch. Instead, he sat on an office chair between his two parents holding Mum’s hand, though that was more to reassure her than him.

‘First of all, Albus, I’ve been thoroughly informed of your situation so you don’t have to feel like I’m not aware. Secondly, there’s absolutely no need to worry. Considering what happened to you, I’m thankful that you’re able to think properly. Now, are there any questions from anybody?’

Mum shook her head and then so did Dad. ‘I have a question.’ Albus spoke up. ‘Err… what’s wrong with me?’ Dad smiled. Mum chuckled. Sandra laughed.

‘That’s why you're here. Hopefully, in these sessions we’ll be able to identify a distinct disorder, then start to treat it.’

‘So I’m crazy, then?’ Albus asked, done with beating around the bush.

‘Albus.’ Mum warned.

‘No. Not in my definition of the word. You’re perhaps a little traumatised but certainly not crazy.’ Sandra cleared her throat. ‘Now, Harry, Ginny, could you please excuse us for about 10 minutes?’

Mum and Dad left with a kiss on the cheek and a shoulder grip retrospectively.

‘Now Albus, having heard what I have from you Headmistress, I’d like to ask a few questions, is that ok?’ Albus nodded and relaxed in his chair. He was glad Sandra was steering the conversation because otherwise, they would probably have been sitting here in silence.

‘How long did each memory gap last?’

‘I’m not sure. The first one must have been quite long, like maybe 10 minutes.’

‘Why do you say that?’ Sandra asked. Albus took one moment to contemplate it before replying.

‘I’ve deduced that during that time I err, well I had sex… with a guy.’ Albus said awkwardly. There was no easy way to say it. Sandra didn’t look shocked, only pensive.

‘You seemed quite at ease when you said that. I’m glad you’re able to share such things with me. I presume you don't want your parents to know?’ Albus reddened.

‘Err. No.’ She smiled sweetly, then motioned for him to carry on. ‘And the second time wasn’t long at all. All I did was stun this guy and then I can remember from there.’

‘Would you say these actions were out of character for you? Would you usually sleep with somebody so casually?’

‘Definitely out of character. I mean, I’m not gay- or bi, and it was a guy. And yes, the other time, that guy was being annoying but at worst all I would have told him to fuck off.’ Albus said. It felt good to say these thoughts. Thoughts that he’d been having but hadn't been coherent until he said them. Sandra nodded and jotted down a few notes on her notepad.

‘And I wonder, the first time, what happened right before the memory blank?’

‘Err. It’s a little hazy but I think… oh, yeah. The guy that I f-slept with walked past my carriage and, I think he winked at me, I’m not entirely sure.’

‘Ok. Well, so far I’ve ruled out a few disorders. It’s not just memory gaps or bad recall because you were acting differently. Would you say that perhaps during these periods of lost time, you were not in your body? Or maybe you felt like you were asleep?’

Albus shook his head. ‘No, I don't think it’s either. It’s as though I suddenly lost consciousness and when I regained it I was somewhere else.’

Sandra paused, looking down at her notes and then off into space.

‘I believe I may suspect a certain disorder. I believe you have a Dissociative Disorder called DID, or Dissociative Identity Disorder.’ Albus waited patiently to find out what that meant, as she scribbled something on a piece of paper and gave it to him. It had written on it the name of his disorder and Multiple Personality Disorder.

‘Multiple Personality Disorder is what they used to call DID until it was reformed with a better understanding. Do you know what either of those mean?’ Albus shook his head. Multiple Personalities? Was that like acting differently sometimes? ‘Ok, I’ll explain it when I have your parents in here, but one thing you must remember is that I can’t possibly know for certain what you have after 10 minutes. This isn't a diagnosis, it’s a guideline.’ Sandra got up to go get his parents. ‘Are you alright?’ She asked, now looking a little worried.

Albus’ face was a little pale. ‘I think it only just hit me that there’s something wrong with me…’ Albus said trying not to sound sad, but probably failing.

Sandra smiled sympathetically. ‘I’ll go get your parents.’

Not too long later, Albus’s mother was sat by him holding his hand, as his Dad settled on the other side. Albus moved to hug his Mum and he sobbed a little. He wasn't crying, but he knew he would tonight.

He knew Sandra said he wasn't crazy. But he had a mental disorder. How can you be told that and not feel crazy.

‘It’s okay, Al. It’s all going to be okay.’ Mum soothed, with her hand in his hair, rubbing circles steadily and giving him something to ground himself. Albus back up into his own hair and hugged his Dad briefly. Sure, he wasn't the most calming person, but he was family and home and a promise of shared blood and unity.

When Albus regained his composure, everyone noticed his irritated eyes but didn't say anything for there was nothing more to say.

‘So, as I just told you all separately, I believe Albus has DID. Though I can’t be certain, the symptoms are so unlike any other disorder that I’d be surprised if I were wrong.’ She let that settle in while Albus took both his parents’ hands. ‘I’m afraid the next pieces of information may be quite shocking. DID occurs when somebody goes through such a traumatic situation, that they create a different identity, to deal with the memories and associated feelings. In your case Albus, this would be while you were under the influence of the Cruciatus Curse.’ Albus nodded, willing her to carry on. ‘These different identities, aka alters, remain with the victim in order to deal with stressful situations and in order to conceal the truth about the trauma from the victim. That’s why you can’t remember those days, Albus.’

‘So… when I had those memory blanks, it was another alter taking over my body?’ A reassuring squeeze from Mum. Sandra nodded with a smile.

‘Exactly. The host, that’s you, won’t usually be able to remember what happens while an alter is in control.’

‘How many are there?’ Mum spoke out, voice firm and concealing true and fragile emotions. She knew what it was like to be controlled. To have her body taken over and feeling the guilt for the unspeakable things that she did.

‘It depends on what Albus’s subconscious is trying to protect him from. I’d definitely say there’s more than 1 though.’ Sandra seemed a little uncertain.

‘But why did they, or he, do those things? Are they psychopaths?’ Albus asked, just becoming aware of the fact that his parents weren't aware of what happened during the first memory loss. If they noticed his slip up, they didn’t say anything.

‘Different alters have different roles. They tend to take these roles to the extreme. For instance, the second time, I would think that your alter sensed danger and did all he could to protect you.’ Albus was glad that she didn't mention the first time. Though he still had questions about why an alter would sleep with somebody. What was that protecting him from?

‘Are they dangerous?’ Dad asked. Albus froze as he realised that he could pose a threat to society. What if his alter came out and killed everyone because he thought he was ‘in danger’.

‘No, no. Not unless they're provoked, as was seen yesterday.’ Sandra said.

‘How do we treat it?’ Mum asked.

‘There’s no magic spell of prescribed pill that can get rid of them. Weekly sessions with me will help and eventually we’ll be able to start attempted to rejoin the alters to you, in a process called integration.’

‘And until then?’

‘Albus lives with DID.’


	3. Chapter 3

It was then agreed that Albus’s teachers, his Head of House, Rose and James would be told. His parents wanted to tell the whole family but Albus just wanted Rose and James to know to start with. James was his sibling and Rose was his best friend and basically his twin. Lily was too young to fully understand and Albus didn’t want too many people to know at the moment. After all, maybe Sandra was wrong? It was a vain hope there but Albus trying to grasp at straws. 

It would be explained to Rose and James by Sandra, but the faculty would be told about it by Professor Edgecombe briefly and in not too much detail.

Albus was allowed to go back to sleeping in his dorms even though the Headmistress insisted that he tell his roommates because he could be dangerous to them otherwise. But Albus persisted, saying that they couldn't be trusted and in any case, his alters would only be dangerous if he was perceived to be threatened. He knew his roommates were Hufflepuffs so they were supposed to be loyal and kind, but the Sorting had tended to give some leeway. And anyway, Albus wasn't going to tell every Hufflepuff his life story just because a dusty old hat perceived them to be good at finding things.

So the next day, when Albus was walking into the Great Hall for breakfast, he was dragged to the side by Rose. After they were out of the way of the flow of students, Rose hugged Albus and kissed his cheek before whispering in his ear,

‘I’m always here for you.’ They smiled at each other and Albus was reminded of how immensely grateful he was to have his Rosie in his life.

‘Hey.’ A gruff voice said. Albus turned to face his brother, who stood awkwardly before settling on hugging him too. After that was done, James gave Albus a reassuring pat on the back. ‘I can’t lose you Al. So stay strong, yeah?’ Albus nodded as James walked into breakfast. 

Stay strong? Was that supposed to raise Albus’s spirits? Albus supposed that was James’s way of showing that he cared, but he could have managed to be a little more eloquent.

They moved into the Great Hall to eat together and rejoin the rest of the family and the day continued as normal as if life wasn’t as weird and complicated and tiring as it really was.

***

Having done his homework for the week, Albus spent his free periods in the library, scouring for any piece of information on DID. It was odd; he wanted to not think about his disorder at all, but simultaneously he wanted to research into it to see what he was up against. Albus would be lying if he said DID wasn't fascinating, because the nature of it was so mind-boggling. It seemed like something you would only read about.

In any case, DID was nowhere to be found in the library. He had been told by Sandra that psychology was a very muggle-based subject and wixen sometimes preferred to accept the way that we think, rather than investigate it.

By Wednesday, he hadn't had another alter appear and Albus was very grateful for that after two days in a row. He’d tried to avoid confrontation and charming men, and so far it seemed to be paying off. 

On Thursday, the entire Weasley crew went down to the lake, to make the most of the weather before autumn came around full blast. While Louis and Dominique Weasley sunbathed, chatting animately with James and a few of their friends, Lily, Rose, Hugo and Albus paddled in the shallows of the lake. The sand was surprisingly soft beneath Albus’ feet, and he was enjoying the last of the summer sun.

Lily, of course, was splashing Hugo. Hugo, having no intention of losing the water fight, took out his wand and drench Lily with a water summoning spell. Albus smiled at his sister. He was glad she was having fun.

Rose stood next to Albus, a little closer to the shore than their younger siblings. Their trousers were rolled up as opposed to soaking wet. Rose was attempting to transfigure a stone into a belt, but was having no such luck.

‘I don’t understand. It’s a perfectly simple spell, really.’ Rose was becoming annoyed.

‘I think you’re saying it wrong.’ Albus tried to help. ‘It’s piertesantrum, not piertosantrum.’

Rose ran her hand through her hair and took a deep breath. ‘You try it.’

Albus took out his wand and took the stone from Rose. Pointing his wand at the stone he cast,

‘Piertesantrum.’ 

A small explosion occurred in his hands, causing the skin on his face to blacken and his hair to stand up. 

Rose erupted into laughter, followed by the rest of his family, and Albus couldn't help but grin. 

‘I don’t- oh lord,’ Rose started, attempting to quell her hysterics, ‘I don’t- think- that was the right spell.’ 

***

Albus wrote to Mum and Dad that evening, having cleaned up since the minor explosion. He wrote about how he was doing; how he was okay and that they shouldn’t worry about him. Albus also asked about whether they could get him a book about DID, since the library was deprived of such things. Albus knew he seemed a little desperate to get his hands on such a book, but he couldn't help but feel like he was being unproductive otherwise. He wanted to understand his disorder, and most of all he wanted to be cured.

The next morning, Albus woke up a little sleep deprived, so he arrived at the Great Hall later than his family. Taking his seat next to Rose, he muttered a groggy ‘morning’, before pouring himself some pumpkin juice.

‘What’s up with you?’ Rose said mockingly, though her voice was slightly laced with worry. 

‘Dunno. Guess I didn’t sleep well.’ Albus replied, reaching for the toast with a shrug.

‘Oi, Albus. Where’ve you been, we’ve been having a blast.’ Louis said smugly. It took Albus longer than it should to get it, so he just rolled his eyes.

‘Wow, you're so witty, you’re blowing me away.’ Albus retorted.

Then James’ friend, Adrian, spoke up, highly amused by the pun-throwing. ‘Rumour has it that’s not the only thing that’s blowing you.’ He said, wiggling his eyebrows and gesturing over to the Slytherin table. James clipped his friend’s ear roughly and mouthed an apology.

Albus hated to be reminded of what he’d done with Marvin. Of course, no one knew why nor the fact that he didn’t remember it, but that didn't mean that Adrian’s words hadn’t hurt at least a little.

‘You okay?’ Rose asked. She noticed his mood growing more sombre after the remark, and  
wanted to make sure he was ok. Most of all, she didn’t want an alter to come out, but she wasn't going to say that.

‘Yeah… It’s still hard to think about, I guess.’ Albus said, looking down at the now unappealing piece of soggy toast smothered in a dark gooey jam. Rose gave him a small private smile before going back to eat her food.

Lily didn't know what was going on, but she wasn't stupid. She knew Albus was feeling down, so she decided to take his mind off it.

‘Albie, can you help me with some homework later please? Pwetty pweeease.’ Lily gave him her biggest eyes and her most innocent pout. Albus’s heart turned to slodge when he thought about turning her down.

‘Course Lil. What’s it on?’

‘Advanced charms.’

Rose’s and Albus’s eyebrows rose in surprise. ‘You’re doing advanced charms?’

Lily shrugged, as if it wasn't a big deal. ‘Professor Bones asked me if I wanted to because I was doing so well and I said duh. Plus it helped that she knew that you’re my brother.’

Albus wouldn't disagree with that. All the teachers knew of Albus’s talent with charms. He had nearly already finished mastering all the NEWT spells in his extra time, using a hand-me-down book from Teddy Lupin.

Later that day, Albus and Lily met outside in the transfiguration courtyard. Lily had her head in a book, which was a little disconcerting considering it was Lily. Albus saw that the book she held was one that he’d used in first year to learn advanced charms. Albus felt an odd sense of pride fill him when he looked at his Lil, walking his footsteps.

‘Al!’ Lily noticed him and rushed over. ‘Awesome. Let’s get started.’ Lily looked up at him expectantly.

‘Well, what were you just reading about?’ Albus asked, curious. There was quite a lot of amazing spellwork in that book; Albus still referred to his copy of it, even now.

‘Oh, that’s a little too advanced. It’s protection charms over areas.’ 

‘Nah, Lil. You can do that, it’s easy. We should go onto the grounds for that, though. You’ll need some space to practice.’ Albus said, offering his arm for Lily to put hers through, which she did graciously. They walked down near to the forbidden forest, but not too close because their uncle Ron had warned them about acromantulas.

‘So,’ Albus began, retrieving memories about the spells they were going to practice. ‘the first most basic spell is Salvio Hexia. It protects the area from hexes and jinxes, but can easily be broken if it is detected.’ Albus walked towards his sister and took out his wand. ‘You cast the spell with both hands for a more solid wall of protection, rather than a poorly protected area. You put your left hand out like you're touching an invisible wall. With your wand, you mimic making a tear in the wall, moving downwards. Watch me.’

Albus did as he instructed and muttered the incantation, causing a ripple to be seen through the air, creating a wall that quickly diffused to become invisible.

‘You try.’ Albus said. He was enjoying this. It kept his mind off other things and made him feel normal again. He’d missed spending time with his sister.

‘Okay.’ Lily was a little nervous she was going to get this wrong, but attempted anyway as she never backed down from a challenge. As she cast the spell, the ripple was forming but rather than form a wall, it created more of a… well… mess. Lily huffed in frustration.

‘That’s really good. You’re nearly there, but you need to grasp your wand more firmly. You’re also moving it forward a little; try to make sure that you go straight down.’ Albus said gently. He knew all too well how his sister would get if she thought she was being bossed around.

Lily tried again and this time, the wall was made, albeit a little weak but that would come with practice. Lily spun with glee and did a little interpretive dance while she was at it, causing Albus to laugh loudly.

For the next hour or so, Albus and Lily practiced a few different protective enchantments, including the disillusionment charm, the muggle-repelling charm, and protego maxima. Albus also taught Lily how to create either a dome, or a wall surrounding them.

‘It will be gone in a few hours. You’d have to cast the unyielding charm, if you wanted something permanent.’ Albus informed her as they walked back to the castle.

Lily nodded, but remained quiet and pensive, before speaking up. ‘What’s wrong with you, Albus. I know Rose knows, and possibly James. You’ve been distant lately, only really talking to Rose and away with the fairies.’

Albus should have been surprised by this, but he wasn’t. Lily was an incredibly bright and perceptive person and Albus honestly should have seen this coming. In his relaxed and content mood, Albus decided to tell her. With a sigh, he began to explain.

Lily listened as Albus listed things that Lily had never thought possible. It made her sad, but she listened. She loved her brother more than she let on and she would do this for Albus. At the end of the explanation, Lily was holding back tears.

‘Don’t be sad, Lil.’ Albus said, approaching her and embracing her. Lily hugged back, hard.

‘These are sympathy tears.’ Lily joked, sniffing. Albus chuckled, pulling back and observing his little sister. ‘I’m here for you.’ Lily said. Those words meant more to Albus than he really knew at that moment.

***

The next day was Saturday, meaning that Albus had a lie in. He woke around 9:30 and stumbled out of bed yawning. He shuffled to the mirror in the bathroom to organise the train wreck that was his hair, before moving on to getting changed. Louis had, in the summer holidays, done Albus the privilege of buying him an entirely new wardrobe; he’d said he’d had enough of Albus’s fashion sense and was done being embarrassed by his relative’s rags.

Albus threw on some burgundy chinos when he heard a voice behind him.

‘Morning.’ Albus twisted to see Duke just getting up. He was shirtless and Albus’s eyes raked over his abs, before Albus felt a change coming along.

‘Shit.’ Albus muttered.

>>>

Trixie examined the fine male specimen in front of her. Damn, she could ride him like a cowgirl. She slowly approached the shirtless man.

‘Hey, sexy.’ She said seductively, biting her lip. The man, Duke, looked at her strangely.

‘Albus?’ He asked, a little self-conscious at being called sexy by another guy.

A shrill laugh ran through the room from Trixie. ‘No, honey. I’m Trixie. And you,’ she pointed at him. ‘are mine.’

Duke took a few steps back from her ever nearing figure. He scrambled to find his shirt as he said. ‘Right. Well, I’ve got to go and I’ll leave you to your own devices, Al.’ He pulled his shirt above his head and made to leave the room when Trixie grabbed his arm.

‘You aren’t going anywhere.’ She whispered into his ear, before pushing him onto a random bed.

>>>

‘What the fuck, Albus. Get off!’ Duke pushed Albus away and Albus fell on the ground behind him. He took the moment to take in the situation. Ok, well he was still shirtless and apparently he’d tried to climb onto Duke. Didn’t take a genius like Rose to figure out what he’d tried to do.

‘No wait! Shit, I’m sorry Duke. I can explain.’ Albus got up to see that Duke had stopped before leaving, and was looking at him expectantly, for an explanation. Albus sighed. He hadn't wanted to do this. ‘You’ll have to promise not to tell anybody.’

‘That you’re gay?’ Duke asked.

‘I’m not gay.’ Albus said irritably, taking a seat on the edge of the nearest bed. 

‘Could have fooled me.’ Duke replied, finally approaching Albus, and taking a seat on the bed opposite him. ‘What’s up?’

‘I have, well, I’ve got multiple personalities.’ Albus said. ‘It means th-’

‘No shit!’ Duke exclaimed. ‘That’s fucking awesome. dude. Tell me everything.’ Duke looked way too keen for his own good.

Albus blinked. Wha? 

Duke noticed his shocked state and explained. ‘I’m muggle-born. I was raised around TVs and pop culture. There’s this show I binge watched a few years back about this woman with multiple personalities. It was the bomb.’

Albus only picked up about half of that but understood well enough. Sandra had said that DID was more well known among muggles but he hadn't realised how much so.

‘You can’t tell anyone, Duke.’ Albus said firmly. The rest didn't matter, but people couldn’t know. Duke pouted but eventually agreed, swearing on his magic that he wouldn't tell anybody.

‘So, tell me about Trixie. She was rather persistent.’ Duke said. Albus raised an eyebrow.

‘Trixie?’ Albus asked in confusion.

‘Yeah, that personality that tried to sleep with me.’ 

‘Oh. I didn’t know her name.’ Albus said, dumbly.

‘Oh… well how long have you had it?’ Duke asked.

Albus shook his head. ‘Do you mind if we don’t talk about this? I’m hungry and shirtless and to be honest, I don’t really want to talk to you about my condition.’ Albus said, getting up and moving to put on a grey, long sleeve t-shirt. 

‘Oh, sure.’ Duke said, clearly a little put-down, but Albus really didn’t want to talk about this.

***

Albus developed a bad migraine throughout breakfast, so Rose made him go to the Madame Gorsemoor. This wasn't what he wanted to be doing on a Saturday morning, but Rose insisted. She told him that if he didn’t go, then she wouldn’t help him with his potions work for a month.

Since Albus didn’t feel like failing potions, he went to the hospital wing. Albus supposed she was right to make him go since the awful headache might have been linked with his alter coming out earlier.

On his way to the hospital wing, Albus thought about this ‘Trixie’. He didn’t know how, but he knew that she was a woman. It was a bit of a shock to Albus; he hadn’t really considered having female alters. He didn’t know if it made him uncomfortable or not, yet.

More pressingly, what was he going to do about her? She’d already slept with someone and had attempted to again. And apparently, she didn't react to being told no. Albus really didn't want to sleep with half of the school, even if it wasn’t really him. The thought of some of the boys taking him, made Albus shudder. He definitely had to do something about it.

When he arrived at the hospital wing, he knocked on Madame Gorsemoor’s office door and waited for her to come out.

‘Ah, Albus. How can I help?’ She asked nicely after she’d magically opened the door for him to enter. Albus knew that she knew about his DID, but she didn't seem to be acting any differently. He supposed she didn't want to treat him any differently to anybody else, but really he got the impression that she was just ignoring the issue.

‘I’ve got a really bad migraine.’ He said. ‘Rose said I should come get some mind-numbing potion.’ Albus wasn't lying when he said it was bad, it hurt like a bitch. 

‘Ah yes. Dr Keating said that that might happen.’ She nodded sympathetically. ‘I’m afraid I can’t help you, though. She was quite adamant that potions wouldn't help, nor would muggle medicine. I believe she called them switch headaches.’ 

‘Oh,’ Albus said digesting the information. So it was a result of his DID. ‘I’ll just go then…’

Madame Gorsemoor nodded. ‘Don’t forget. If you ever need anything or you feel like being alone, you can come here. Oh, and here.’ Madame Gorsemoor got up and moved to a cabinet behind her. She grabbed a small pouch and gave it to him. ‘It’s some herbal tea. It may help with the headaches. Just put a little in some hot water every morning. I’m not sure how much it will help, but it’s worth a shot.’

***

Albus left the infirmary, going to the library to write to his parents. They’d want to know about Trixie and the switch headaches. He would have also written a letter to Sandra, but he was seeing her the next day anyway.

The library was a little more populated than usual since it was the weekend and the weather was grim. It took Albus a little while to find somewhere to write, where he couldn't be spied on. He knew how sneaky some Slytherins could be and he couldn't count on a Slytherin to keep his secret.

Albus settled down into a corner desk, next to the window. He got out some paper and a quill and began writing.

A little while later, somebody dropped a large book on the space next to Albus, causing a large thump and making Albus jump. He looked up to see Rose taking her seat next to him. She seemed to be annoyed, so Albus stopped what he was doing to talk to his best friend.

‘What’s up?’ Albus asked.

‘It’s James’ stupid friend, Adrian. An owl delivered this for you’ Rose said, gesturing to the book. ‘and he casually opened it with his wand as if it were his!’ 

Albus looked down at the massive book, labelled ‘The Theory Behind Quidditch’.

‘Why would someone get me this? Who’s it from?’ Albus asked, inquisitively.

‘That’s the thing! Lily put an illusion charm on it when Adrian opened it, before anybody could see that it was a book about DID.’

Oh. OH! Albus got it. Damn thank god Lily was so amazing at charms. He reminded himself to get her something from Honeydukes when they were allowed to go to Hogsmead. 

‘So as I was saying,’ Rose continued. ‘Adrian is a prick.’ Rose concluded. Albus hummed in agreement as he preoccupied himself with getting out his wand and pointing it at the book.

‘Finite Incantatem.’ Albus cast, causing the book’s letters to move around and change shape and colour until they formed the title; ‘Dissociative Identity Disorder: A detailed walkthrough.’

‘Oh, and this came with it.’ Rose said, pulling out a letter and handing it to Albus. ‘I felt sorry for the owl that had to carry it, though. I’m sure Mum cast a lightening enchantment, but it had worn off by the time the owl carried it in. The poor thing looked like it was going to have an aneurysm.’

Albus opened up the letter and read through it. Nothing important, just that they were thinking of him and hoped the book helped. 

Rose dragged the book towards her and flipped it to read the blurb;

‘Lauren Slater explores the world of Dissociation and reveals information about Dissociative Identity Disorder that was only speculated in the past. She delves into the hidden secrets of the mind and explains why specific personality-types reoccur in DID sufferers’ personalities. Slater later goes into detail about the myths associated with DID and why it is so badly represented in the media. Join Slater in a mind-boggling adventure through the treacherous confines of the mind.’

‘Sounds tedious.’ A voice said from behind them. They spun around to see a blonde third year. Rose quickly hid the book from his eye line as Albus studied him. Oh, it was Scorpius Malfoy. He looked different without robes on.

‘Scorpius.’ Albus acknowledged with a nod. They both knew about their parent's rivalry, but there was a mutual understanding that they were to at least be courteous to each other.

‘Albus. Marvin said he wanted to talk to you. He’ll meet you in the Transfiguration courtyard in 10 minutes.’ Scorpius told Albus. Albus and Rose shared a cautious glance.

‘Okay thanks, Scorpius.’ Albus said, waiting for him to leave so they could talk about what Marvin would want.

Rose spoke first. ‘I’ll come with you. In case anything happens with the others.’ Rose said, using their code for the alters. Albus nodded, getting up and using a thinning charm to help the book fit into his backpack. 

‘Let’s go see what he wants.’ Albus said, then paused contemplatively. He grabbed his wand and pointed it towards Rose, who frowned.

‘Wha-’

‘Take it. If a violent alter comes out, I don’t want to hurt anybody.’ Albus said reluctantly. A Wix's wand was like his clothes; not essential but you feel awkward with it.

Rose gave him a sympathetic look, before taking the wand and putting it away. ‘Come on. Let’s go.’

***

Entering the nearly deserted courtyard, the two of them noticed Marvin sitting on a bench, alone. As they approached him, he looked up and frowned at Rose’s presence.

‘Hi Albus, and Rose.’ Marvin said, with a questioning look.

‘You set the time and place, I set the terms. Rose stays.’ Albus said strongly. He needed her here in case things went pear-shaped.

‘Oh, ok. Umm,’ Marvin fidgeted. ‘there’s no real way to say this without it being awkward, but basically, I really like you and I want to go out with you. So will you go out with me?’ Marvin looked hopefully at Albus.

Oh… well, Merlin, that was awkward. ‘Marvin, I thought I made it clear that I’m not gay.’ Albus said, weakly. He felt like he’d kicked a puppy.

‘I don’t understand, though. We had sex. Twice. How can that be a coincidence?’

‘It’s… complicated.’ Albus said, looking to Rose for help. Albus didn’t want to tell Marvin about his DID. He’d already told Duke today and Lily yesterday. At this rate the whole school would know before Christmas.

‘Oh, I see. You could just tell me, you know. That you’re not interested in a relationship with me. There’s nothing wrong with just wanting sex. I can do that too.’ Marvin plead. Now he was just searching for any way to be close to Albus, thinking that maybe he could convince Albus to go out with him after they’d been fucking for a while.

‘No… Marvin. I really am straight. The sex was an accident.’ Albus said. This conversation was getting so awkward that soon little two legged turtles would start crawling along the ground. 

‘Oh ok…’ Marvin said sadly. Albus felt sympathetic. Rose just felt out of place, listening in on this horribly cringe-worthy conversation.

Albus got up to leave. ‘Sorry, Marvin. See you around.’ Albus walked away, followed by Rose. When they’d gotten out of hearing distance, Albus said; ‘How do you think he took it?’

‘Poor guy.’ Was all Rose said.

***

The next day, Albus woke to Duke and Phil shaking him. ‘Albus, get up!’ They chorused.

Albus groaned. ‘Fine, fine. I’m up. What’s the matter.’

Phil and Duke shared a look. ‘You should come see for yourself.’ Unenthusiastically, Albus got up and quickly slipped on some random clothes, not bothering to coordinate his look. Phil and Duke lead him out of the Hufflepuff common room, through the corridors until they reached the entrance of the Great Hall, where they stopped.

‘Well. What is it?’ Albus asked grouchily. Phil slowly pointed to the window on the wall perpendicular to the entrance to the Great Hall.

Albus stood, rooted in shock. On the window, in bright, green lettering was written, ‘Albus Potter is a big, gay manwhore.’

Albus felt blinding anger swallow him up as he drifted into the unconscious and was replaced by someone.

Patronus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER!!! KILL ME


End file.
